Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
even my farts smell like vagina
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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