the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
