are you still at the devil's house?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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