it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
