That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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