I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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