I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
