i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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