You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
