Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I think I am morally bankrupt
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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