Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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