Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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