Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
