Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
