I could have mohawked her pubes.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
