a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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