Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
