I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
high people should be assigned attendants
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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