I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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