i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize