I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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