I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
