guys are not supposed to queef...right?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Randomize
