I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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