Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
