dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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