someone owes me an orgasm
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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