NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
