there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I have post one night stand depression
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
