Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize