I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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