I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
