When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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