so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
