How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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