Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
