This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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