You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
