If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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