Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
