Just cropdusted the office
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
