I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Every concussion has its silver lining
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
