Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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