This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
