my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
we should paint friendship bongs
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