So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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