this beer tastes like vomit already
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
