is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
