we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
