Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
