dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Randomize
