im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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