After last night, I could never be a politician.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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