p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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