Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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