You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize