Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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