yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
