idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
