i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
